This is an English language version of the post published at
ludek.salon24.pl/546360,smolensk-po-angielsku
on 7 November 2013
by the S24 blogger Ludek
Here in the UK no one could comprehend this alleged problem with the Polish democracy. I had to resort to illustrative storytelling:
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Imagine that sometime during the Second World War, the Russians covertly murder several tens of thousands of British PoWs. They disclaim any responsibility, and claim the Germans are guilty of the deed.
Many decades later, the truth is uncovered.
The Queen, accompanied by her military chiefs of staff, the Chairman of the Bank of England, Permanent Heads of the major Civil Service departments, and the Archbishop of Canterbury, travels to Russia on the anniversary of the massacre, in order to take part in a memorial service.
The Queen's flight crashes in unexplained circumstances.
The Government of the United Kingdom not only fails to offer its resignation, but cedes the conduct of all investigations into the crash to the Russians.
The Russians announce in due course that the Queen and the Chief of the Royal Air Force had seized the controls of the royal plane and crashed it while drunk.
The British Government officially confirms this version. The BBC and the Reuters wire agency carry commentaries replete with reminders of the well known recklessness of the late Monarch, and her even better known love of gin.
The media point out the ineptitude of the Queen’s Flight pilots and shortcomings in their training, as well as the question of widespread alcohol abuse in the British Armed Forces, the Royal Air Force in particular.
The House of Commons passes a resolution recommending the elevation of the Minister of Defence to the House of Lords. The Prime Minister approves promotion of the serving Head of the Secret Intelligence Service to the military rank of Brigadier General.
It is dismissed as matter of no consequence that upon opening of a sealed coffin sent from Russia, the body of the Monarch is found dressed in a male white tie and tails, as well as a pair of long johns. Inside the Monarch’s coffin there is also an additional human leg. Some tabloids go as far as to suggest that the late Queen may have harboured closet transsexual inclinations, and her proposed state funeral should be reconsidered for that reason.
Other crash victims are found with extra livers, found upon testing to belong to altogether different people. Some have assorted trash and rubbish sewn into their abdominal cavities.
It is deemed irrelevant that the crash scene has in the meantime been bulldozed and paved with concrete slabs. All traces of the crash are removed, trees cut down, the wreckage cut to pieces, and carefully pressure washed. Russians also flatly refuse to return any wreckage to Britain.
The British Government is greatly pleased with all this, and issues communiqués about major improvements to the Anglo-Russian relations. The Government calls the crash a turning point in its relations with Russia and a new opening for dialogue with the Russian people.
At all turns, the Government officially reinforces the message that the three-legged Monarch was responsible for the disaster.
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No one spoke to me at work for a fortnight. I was shunned as if I were a carrier of a contagious disease.
Two weeks later, one of my English workmates came to apologise. He explained succinctly that the group originally thought I became struck by a major mental health problem, and I was ostracized accordingly.
However, after a while my mates brought the story to the attention of another Pole. He confirmed it. Then they looked up ‘Katyn’ and ‘Smolensk’ on Google. They concluded they had no idea whatsoever such things could ever happen in Europe. Sorry.
